I am SO over this. I am so over feeling like this.
Being like this.
I don’t write the same
I don’t talk the same
I’ve lost every little piece of myself
how do i even begin.
i cant even form an opinion
i can barely think for myself
i’ve found myself at such an extreme …
i literally hate myself
and up to this point, i was too afraid of who read this and what would they think „, god forbid
i’m so fucking done with caring
i want to write my god damn feelings down okay. its not that big of a fucking deal. it’s the internet. i’m fully aware that it is being shouted out into the void and im not doing it for attention. im purely doing it to just fucking write my life somewhere. i loose notebooks all the time and occasionally i actually have people who read this and appreciate it because it helps them realize their shit god damn it
even though no one is on tumblr to read anymore … i dont care .. so here’s my fucking shout into the void. read it or dont read it. i dont care.
NO MORE PRIVATE-ING MY WRITING
all i ever wanted to do was make some kind of impact on peoples’ lives - instead of changing the world … i’ve realized all i have that works for me is a giggle
funny to think that’s the one thing i was made fun of for in school - they used to call me hyena
i look at my room
i look at myself
i’ve lost years
i’ve lost them
maybe i wasnt who i wanted to be back then but i was a hell of a lot closer than what i am now
you know - its like that year and a half that i lost touch with my faith. i know it will never be what it was but i found a balance between what i thought i had to believe in and what i wanted to believe in
i’ve been a complete self centered conniving bitch before and a completely empty subservient little girl who needs to be taken care of
i’m going to find the balance …