"A fucking kid is DEAD because of me. DEAD. A FUCKING KID."
There was a pause. He stared at Liz and she starred right back him. Their faces were motionless.
"He followed me goddamnit. I crossed the road when I shouldn’t have and probably WHERE I shouldn’t have and he FUCKING followed me okay. You want me to open up and be fucking vulnerable? Well, there you fucking have it."
Liz continued to stare not making a move, hardly even blinking. She didn’t want to scare him away. This was good. The truth was finally coming out. After 4 years together, Steve finally lifted his shroud and there was no way Liz was going to stop him no matter how terrible the story.
"His mother shrieked behind me. I couldn’t recognize what happened for a while after I turned around. It was only when I realized his mother was pointing and screaming at me that I …"
Steve began to lower his voice, giving more attention to each word that left his mouth as if he was reliving the exact moment in slow motion and didn’t want to leave out any detail.
"I started to walk back toward the mother confused and pointing at myself exclaiming ME? Me. It was his red Spiderman jacket that caught the corner of my eye and turned my attention away from the mother. He laid face down on the concrete and for a moment I found myself thinking, he’s just sleeping. He looked so still, and everything was silent, in my mind at least; it was perfectly plausible that he was just sleeping."
Steve hung his head. Placed his face in his hands and gave a good rub as he let out a deep sigh.
"I finally put all the pieces together. Finally. I’m such a fucking dumbass. Finally I see that this poor, little boy thought it was okay to run across the road because …"
His voice cracked
"… because I had."
Another pause as Liz still held on waiting for Steve to get everything out.
"I fell to my knees in front of his tiny body under the back tire of a fucking Lincoln Towncar. A fucking Lincoln Towncar. His blood started to come out on the road around him. I put my hand on his back hoping to feel any sign of breathing of a beating heart. His mother, then screaming in my face, pushed and punched me as hard as a woman her size could. The next thing I knew, I was in the back of a cop car."
Steve looked at Liz as if he wanted her to say something. Liz sat calmly, still staring at him.